What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize