I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize