I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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