i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
