Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
