Christians are straight up FREAKS
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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