hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
