The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
