You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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