I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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