I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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