Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
