Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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