her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
