trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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