Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
