the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
