I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
