I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
