New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
MIDGETS
????
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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