i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
