Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
