it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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