two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
