...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize