i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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