I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize