Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
