Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
