I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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