I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
