yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
