check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Watching her eat just hurts me
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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