C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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