I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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