another moral hangover. fuck.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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