smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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