She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Green mimosas i think yes
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
