dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
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My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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