the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize