OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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