In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
