So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
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on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
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You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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