so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just took my morning after pill in the library
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
