He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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