I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I FOUND THE LEGS
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
