you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Randomize
