Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
