We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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