Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
