careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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