I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
