I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
