Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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